Need Advice!! About Infidelity!!?

A friend has confided in me and is seeking my advice. She is married with children. She had a one night stand with a friend of her husbands (he's not a close friend). She has had no further contact with this guy, but she can't put the guilt behind her. Mostly because her husband is an awesome guy! A Truly good man and a terrific father. He in no way deserves to be hurt. Should she confess her actions to her husband? or spare him the hurt, vow to never be unfaithful again, and move on? She is really a good person, just had a weak moment. I'm so confused and torn!!HELP!!Need Advice!! About Infidelity!!?
If this were a one time escapade, then she has nothing to gain by informing him about it. Talking about this with a true confidant is a much more pragmatic solution which will help her deal with the ensuing guilt.


Why should she open up and risk the chance of destroying his trust in her? Is it really worth it? The ramifications could destroy their marriage.


However, if an STD resulted, she might have a problem explaining it.Need Advice!! About Infidelity!!?
keep her mouth shut and move on, unless she feels that her husband is the type that will forgive her,put it behind them,never bring it up again,and move on. if he is that type then tell him and get it over with
Tell him- she needs to come clean and pray he forgives her.


If you make a mistake, face it, she should not be a coward.
This is a really tough question. It really depends on how strong the relationship is. If she knows her husband well, that will determine whether or not she can tell him the truth and if he will forgive her. Some people are not as forgiving as others. If it continues to eat her up inside, she just might have to tell.
this is a tough one. the guy deserves to know, however the consequences on the entire family could be severe. she can either fess up and see counseling or not tell and live with the guilt. there is no ';easy out'; in this one.
well, she's gotta tell him. He has the right to know. A marriage has no chance if people are not honest. If he really is awesome like you say, then most likely he deserves better. He at least deserves to know. Then he can decide if he wants to remain in the relationship.
Oh man! What a predicament here. The best way to answer this is truth. The truth is, no matter how weak a person is, you shouldn't cheat, under any circumstance. However, perfect love drives out fear, love covers over a multitude of sins, and love keeps no records of wrongs. She is going to have to tell him the truth, if she doesn't she will keep that guilt inside her for the rest of her life, because adultery scars a person, and tears families away. I do see why not to tell him, but the truth shall truly set you free. I will pray for this situation.
Not your advice to give. She needs to decide for herself. Reassure her that you will be there for her no matter what. Don't give any advice. Just listen.
She might as well go ahead and tell her husband. She's telling everyone else (you) and it will get back to him. He'll see it on your face.





However, if you are talking about yourself and its YOU that has done this, tell NO ONE, not a friend; not a stranger and definately not your husband. It never happened.
If her husbands friend keeps it a secret then there should be no Problem. I suggest that she keeps it to her self and not tell it to her husband. Once the trust is broken no matter how hard u try it will not be as the old one.
She had an error in judgment, regrets it, and now needs to move past it! She is not going to do it again, and it hurts her like crazy every day of her life. She IS paying for it! So, NO, she should not tell her husband about it, and cause him the kind of pain she is suffering herself. We think that by telling our spouse that we were unfaithful to them, that somehow eases the pain and guilt, but it doesn't...it just tears their heart out too. She needs to carry that error to her grave with her, and never do it again.
She must not tell him, unless she wants to devistate him. Why to women do things like this?
She must not tell him. Why make him hurt so much just to ease her guilt. This is something she must live with, alone, and not burden anyone else with it. The guilt will ease.
If she were to confess her infidelity, the marriage will more than likely come to an end. Even if it does not, it is going to be VERY DIFFICULT to repair. Ultimately, only she knows why she did what she did, and how best to deal with it, but if her every intention is to remain married, then she is probably better off in trying to process the guilt on her own and not confess...just my opinion.
I would say don't tell him. Vow to yourself and God that you will never ever do it again. If she tells, it could end the marriage. She was really in the wrong here. She has a good husband and slept with someone else. Usually women do this because their husbands are not good to them. Wow, shocked me.
She needs forgiveness from God first. Then, she can go tell her husband %26amp; hope for the best!
NO!!!!!! I think that she should keep it to herself and if it comes up one day, deny to her grave! I know that sounds like being a liar, but men have a much harder time forgiving a woman for cheating than a woman does forgiving a man. Men just can't handle the thought of some other man dipping into their honey. It's true. If she confesses he will look at her different for the rest of their life.
No. Don't tell. Tell her to forgive herself, move on and devote herself more to the man she really loves. We all fall
no she should not she shouldn't hurt him by telling him that she could lose him she should stop hopping around and be true to him a good man is hard to find that's why so many women are turning to other women
dont tell, it will destroy u and him and all others that care, to much to lose, and all thes other people that tell u to tell, they wouldnt, and if ur marrage is worth saving, dont tell
I would say don't tell him, vow never to stray again, and move on. This shouldn't ruin everyone's life.
NEVER CONFESS! Why hurt him? She doesn't want to tell him to help him but rather to seek forgivness and put her mind at ease! It will only hurt him and in this instance he doesn't deserve it. This is the burden that she must bear for her transgressions. What he doesn't know won't hurt him!
honestly I would never want to know if it was a once in a lifetime thing why ruin the marriage because if he does decide to stay everytime they make love or even look at each other it will be weighing on his mind if you can keep it to yourself you should I know that you think you will feel better if you tell him but you won't your whole life will be turned upside down
After telling the truth, only the truth and nothing but the truth, we find out how a little lie is necessary sometimes.
That's a tough spot to be put in. Although I have never cheated, I have been cheated on by an ex-boyfriend. That is why he is an EX. I am a believer that cheating is a deal breaker, and I would not stay with someone who cheated on me. Her husband may feel the same way and end the marriage, but on the other hand, he may be able to forgive her and work on things to stay together. If I were you, I would stay out of it and tell your friend that you don't want to know anymore of the situation. You'll be an accomplice if her husband finds out, and he'll be very upset with you as well. I think she should tell him, because if she doesn't then she's done more than one thing wrong. Cheating, and lying is worse than just cheating. Good luck.
Sorry to say but you don't pick good friends. She is a cheater and tramp. Like most women she will cheat just to do it with a guys friend.





Once a cheater always a cheater! Therefore even if she is sorry and says she won't do it again...she will.





The tramp needs to tell her husband since he will find out some day anyway. He needs to divorce her and find a good woman. You should disassociate your self with this tramp otherwise people will think you are like her.
Weak moment I can understand but if she really valued her husband and thought about what he would do in this positon that she has put him in, she wouldn't have slept with someone else, PERIOD! She should confess and deal with the consequences of her actions.
She should tell him and ask him to help her move on.


There is no such thing as what he wont know wont hurt him. He might feel betrayed then again he was and how much worse would it be that she hid this from him for so long?


This is also not the kind of thing she can keep inside herself either! It'll eat her up until she blames him for her unease and unhappiness. She will always be fearful that someday he'll find out. A life of looking over your shoulder can give you a stiff neck!


Good Luck
Committing adultery is wrong and sinful. While your friend may regret what she has done she took a marriage vow to be faithful and honest etc. She needs to confess to her husband it would better coming from her then someone else. Yes, there's a good possibly he might leave her, but he might see the honestly and the hurt that she felt for doing this and forgive her. She needs to pray to God for strength before speaking with him. She just needs to stay honey, I know what I'm about to tell you is going to hurt you and I am sorry I never meant for it to happen it just did however, I'm being honest with you, b/c i rather you hear it from me then someone else. I cheated on you w/ ';whoever'; it was a one night stand and we have NOT had contact since. I know that I broke a trust we had and even our marriage vows, but I want a chance to beg for your forgiveness. I'm even willing to go to counseling to try and fix our marriage and gain back your trust so that we can move on and put it behind us. Honey, I do love you I don't know what came over me I'm truly sorry. I do want to continue this marriage and our relationship. I know it's going to take time to heal and get over the pain and hurt that I have put you through, but I'm willing to do anything to gain back your trust and love and restore our marriage. They could also discuss going to speak with a preacher as well to help over the devastation and heal the hurt. Good Luck, God Bless and tell your friend to have faith in the Lord and ask for strength and forgivness from him as well, b/c only then can she begin to forgive her self.
Tell her to keep her mouth shut. Why cause an even bigger problem? Why would she want to rip the heart out of a ';good man and terrific father';? And forget that ';weak moment'; crap. This thing had to be planned and thought of for a while before it actually happend. Even if the guy just stopped by to borrow a hammer, she had to sexual feelings for him long before that. As much as I wish it weren't true, women don't just jump on a guy they've only see for a few seconds. A 'weak moment' is just an excuse. Tell her to keep her trap shut and spare her husband and her kids the pain of a shattered relatonship. And if the other guy wants to talk about it, slit his throat...
I did this when I was married- almost same scenerio. My ex-husband and I were VERY good friends. I let the guilt get the best of me and told him. It ruined him for life. He is a shell of the man he used to be. When we do things, we confess to ease our OWN guilt- but we did it so we need to suffer. Why hurt him? We already did the wrong- it's MORE wrong to burden the husband. Trust me on this....