Friday, April 30, 2010

I need some advice about infidelity?

well check this, my uncle has been married 4 17yrs, and his wife is a crazy *********! she's always fighting with him, argueing, nagging, and jealous as hell. he's 42yrs old. he called me today upset and crying telling me that he is fed up and that he was dating another woman for about a month. the other woman is married. my uncle has a daughter that is 16yrz old. his daughter does not respect him at all cuz her mom brainwashes her saying that my uncle is no good. my uncle wants to leave his wife cuz he's fed up. the relationship with that other woman is over. the woman told him that she couldn't deal with him being married. my uncle asked me 4 advise. and i really don't want to get into it, but when i heard his tone of voice i felt real bad. i was brought up that infidelity is a sin and it is sumthing that shouldn't be done. like i said he's 42yrz i'm only 24. what can i tell him???I need some advice about infidelity?
Tell him to talk to a professional counsellor or someone older with more maturity and life experience than you. He is being very unfair asking you for help in such a difficult, delicate matter. His problem is complicated and if you give him advise that turns out badly you may feel guilty, or your relationship may be damaged for a long time. It is short sighted and not appropriate for you to get involved.





Good LuckI need some advice about infidelity?
I would tell him that he needs to talk to someone older who has some experience with this or at least knowledge of what to do. You are too young to know what to tell him (not trying to insult you). I don't blame you for not wanting to get into this. It sounds to me like the only person who could help this situation is a licensed counselor!
The guy should leave his wife and stay at a hotel or something,,, after a week or two, the wife will relize that the guy she yells at is not around, and now she has nobody to yell at and she will be miserable....





Listen that happened to my in-laws about the same age...





He threatened to divorce her, and after that She got the message... they are together and want to work things out..
Tell him:





1. Stop arguing and fighting with his wife. It takes two people to argue, so if he stops, the conflict will cease.





2. To stop her ';nagging'; he should make note of what she complains about and start handling those things proactively, before she has a chance to complain. Once he improves himself and his behavior, the nagging will cease.





3. To make her stop being jealous, he should live his life with accountability and openness, and demonstrate his commitment to her.





Once he does these things, his marriage will become happy and temptations of infidelity will become a thing of the past.
Your uncle is completely wrong.


He is using the sympathetic nature of your relationship with him to get someone to feel sorry for him and condone cheating? Hello! NOT.


He is a coward and spineless to use the sympathy of a young woman in order to avoid the judgment that he will face from those less sympathetic, older, and wiser, for the crime of having dated while still married.


It doesn't matter whether you think his wife is a ***** or not, dating is not the answer to his marital problems.


Pass this discussion off to your mother. Refuse to be this guy's fill-in absolution of conscience and guilt.
Tell him to get out. This marriage is as toxic as it gets.
Don't let him pressure you into making descisions for him. Make him decide for himself so he has only himself to blame if he makes the wrong decision.
Infidellty may be a sin but so is putting up with so much suffering.





Your aunt and uncle may have a piece of paper that says they are married but really.....they are not even room-mates anymore.





Let your uncle find some happiness in life because it sounds like his wife is nucking futz!
He's 42 and old enough to make his own decisions don't you think, I'd tell him to stop calling you and bothering you with his problems.
Tell him to be a man and get a divorce first, he's not happy any way and after 17yrs it probably won't get better. Then he can date any one he wants;how would he like it if someone was boinking his wife.I know it's easier said then done but the sooner the better,he's wasting precious time.
Well he shouldnt have cheated, but his wife is crazy so i guess i wont talk much about that. Anyways the other lady only wanted him as a fling. His daughter is just hurt and goin through a rough time because her mother and father are constantly fighting, and being a girl, she prolly feels closer to her mother. He does need to divorce her and move on with his life. Eventually his daughter will realize that her daddy isnt a bad guy.
tell him he needs to do whats going to make him happy


if he want out then get out ....but also Tell him do not start another relationship with out closer in the open one .....


PS counseling would not hurt aether .

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