I need advice about my marriage, please?

Ok, sooo. Here is my situation. I am a 30 yr old wife with no kids and an 80 lb golden retriever. I live in the NYC area. I have a masters degree education and my husband has a MBA and earns $100K annually. I don't work outside the home, but I do everything else. Cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking for dinner, taking dog out twice daily for walks, laundry, paying bills, taking out garbage, dishes, vacuum, trips to vet, setting up all appointments. In addition, I am a former competitive swimmer and very in shape and many people say 'beautiful.' Sooo, my husband is constantly on my case and tells everyone at his job that I 'sit at home all day.' He is always saying to me how I am not using my education and that 'all families today are dual income.' His parents were Polish immigrants and they both worked very long hours. He was born here, in the states. In addition, he only wants sex once a month on average, and he watches porn often to masturbate. Should I leave him??? Advice please.I need advice about my marriage, please?
You shouldn't leave just yet, you need to tell him straight up that you all need to go to counseling, because there is a lot of things in your marriage that aren't sitting right with you. Try the counseling for at least a year and if things don't change you may want to consider leaving. Good Luck.I need advice about my marriage, please?
I think the reason he does this is because he is trying to make you upset because he's mad that you stay home and he can't so the way that he takes it out on you is to masturbate. He figures if he does this you will get mad and get up and get a job. Try working for a while and let him see that the housework will not get done if you're both working
You should talk to him. Is there a reason you do not work? If he doesn't want you to work and than says that to his co-workers, he's a hypocrite. If wants you to work, than you should really listen to him.





You don't have any children and while taking care of the home is important, you can do both and work full time. Growing up, my mother worked full-time and did all the housework and had 2 kids. It's possible.





I would work if I were you. Does doing the housework really take up all that time? What else do you do all day? Plus, 100K in NYC is a good salary, but doesn't get you far. If you worked, you could possible save up more or get a bigger house. Heck, you could hire a maid or a household coordinator (someone who pays the bills and over sees the maid/chores)





As for the sex thing? Talk to a counselor.
It sounds like he is frustrated with the situation. Is there a specific reason why you aren't employed right now? (As in...are you preparing to start a family, etc.) If he were okay with you being a housewife minus kids, then I suppose it wouldn't be that big of a deal. But, it sounds like he resents being the sole breadwinner, especially with no kids in the picture - perhaps you should consider seeking employment or even meaningful volunteer work?





After all, if you left him, you'd have to find a way to support yourself anyhow. (Which, most likely, would involve seeking employment.) Why not give being employed a shot while you're still married and see if it changes things? Worst case scenario, you have a job already lined up if you do eventually split up.





(Also, what was the agreement that you guys had when you got married? Did you both agree that you would be a housewife when you decided to get married? Or did he marry someone he expected to be a career woman and you changed your mind after the marriage? If things are different than what he expected going into the marriage, that could be a cause of his resentment.)
Go get a great job with your masters degree, if your fat join weight watchers, and go to the gym. You'll start making lots of money, and get a hot body. You don't have any kids with him yet, so if he doesn't come around after making lots of money, and getting a new hot body, them the$%26amp;()@$%26amp;%26amp; with him, and find someone who appreciates you, and treats you the way you should be treated... a VIP
Well, he's right - why aren't you working? Your dog doesn't need a sitter...
Did you know that he was this way before you married? Sounds like you have given a lot of yourself for him and forgot who you are.... You should maybe get back to your swimming and if he makes that kind of money hire help and maybe you should consider going back to work.... Counseling would be something I would also consider for you and him if he is willing to do that. Bring up the porn and how your sex life ';isn't, sounds like some very deep issues for your husband and his one man hand..... Good luck!!
No you should not leave him. Here is one suggestion





Begin reading a few books on marrital relationships to learn about your situation. Remember if he is seeking ';sexual fullfillment elsewhere it could mean he lacks trust in you to share his needs, or your not speaking his unique love language, like you did while you were dating.





The 5 Love Languages, and His Needs, Her Needs is a good spot you can start





As for being home. you can start by look into becomming an Euntrapeuner =) check it out I bet you would have something positive to contribute.





Then I suggest a Book by Robert Kyosaki


Rich Dad, Poor Dad,





Followed finally by his book called


BUSINESS SCHOOL ';I think';





In this he talks about changes in Society. You can develope a Home based business that surrounds you with successful Entrapeuners who can help you get off the ground.





If you have questions send me an Email =) I'm happy to help





Alex6649@yahoo.com





God Bless
Maybe the question should say, should he leave you? Or, is he going to leave you? It is beyond his understanding how can you waste your expensive education, as well as your intelligence. How can you stay at home and do what an immigrant will do for below minimum wage. Aren't you better than all that? It might be that he is embarrassed by you even being willing to be the maid. Maybe he wants you to work, so you two together could possibly make $300K a year, and he can brag on you being his partner in all things. Guys in the business world have a tendancy to want more not less, money wise, something to brag about. His parents were Polish immigrants and both worked very long hours, and that is the way they brought him up. It's not the Polish are cheap thing, it is that they wanted the next generation to have even more than they had. The amount of money coming in for him is a sign of success, and having things are what's important to him and is why he got his MBA. There is nothing wrong with what he wants for his life, it seems that you don't have the same goals anymore if you ever did. He probably can't understand what happened and how you two got off the same page. The sex thing is probably him feeling like a failure to you, like she doesn't even want me so why try. I see the two of you viewing things so differently. Him seeing you as beautiful, and that he does, but he wants the beautiful life as well. The life making more money brings is what he wants as well as you. I know it hurts your feelings that you are not enough, just you alone. You feel he is on your case, and doesn't appreciate you or how beautiful others think you are and is all you should have to be. You work hard at what you chose to do he just doesn't get it why you don't want what he wants. What happened and why? Before it is too late you guys need to get into some counselling and plain old talk to each other! Good Luck to You and I hope all works out.
If you love the man, you need to get the both of you to go see a relationship counselor. If you don't love him, then leave.
take the dog and go. that whole part about the no sex thing was a deal breaker. why lay next to someone with that sick feeling everynight of knowing he can't stand to have sex with you. ugh! that alone is exhausting. if he can't respect you as a housewife, he won't respect you even if you pulled in twice his income, had 20 kids, and still paid all the bills. some men just don't get it.
Yep!
Your 30 y.o with no kids. Why don't you work?


If YOU leave him and he's the breadwinner, how would you intend to support yourself.


I suspect he's losing respect for you and that is why he doesn't want sex and says you're sitting around home all day. You should be doing the same as he's doing - WORK
Get a job that pays more then his %26amp; then see how he feels. Not to good I bet.





lol
Well babe if your good looking come here and I will be a better husband to you. You would love Australia
Thanx for this question. There are many women like yu on the world. I live in Italy. An Italiano.I very well understand yur question.


First, you don't have to work for a dual income. I am sure He will be same if yu work too.. And why you do a second work. You allready work at home!!..he is wrong. And he has not right to tell everyone like that.





He has to make love with you 2 times a week at least. This is worldwide average. he does only 1 a mounth.. Puah!!..And he masturbates!!..Then why he married???





Only make yu a worker for dual income ??





he is WRONG man for yu. YOU CAN'T change him. he will be like that Till die.. LEAVE HIM.. ( I am very sure )


( I know you are sure too.. But you want your decision approved by public opinion) .. Yes dear.. leave him quickly. he is wrong man for yu..And he will not change himself in the future...Good luck.. I support you.
I remember answering this exact same question a month ago. if you haven't taken any advice from the answers u received earlier why do you bother asking.
you are an educated woman in America with a masters degree and you are actualy wanting our advise as to whether or not you should stay in a marriage of all the things that you mention not once do you say the words love or happiness.are these present in your marriage? if so then it may be worth staying but since you don't have children and that is not a concideration then if you or your husband is not happy in your marriage and that is the way it seems to me from reading your question then either seek some counciling or a divorce i mean its obviouse that with your education you don't need to depend on him and if he isn't doing his job as far as keeping you satisfied in the bed what the hell do you realy need him for?